#37

He goes about and wastes his time again, all for a moment in which satisfaction isn't even inflicted on himself. Only to keep the image, what everybody else wants to see and hear. He speaks to himself that he has better things to do, not to waste hours and hours playing the same thing over and over again as these egotistical maniacs try to outdo each other. This stupidity, this non-existent pressure, it's useless. Fucking. Useless.

#36

The state of dizzyness, the unconsciousness, the inability to perceive embarrassment, the sickening feeling the morning, the insensitivity. All useless to him.

He's given it up.

For the better.

Oh modality, you devious fiend, playing with the minds and distorting their thoughts. You are deadly, you are filled with such infinite regress of infinite possibilities. You are sheer poison, creating hysteria and insanity in the minds of all. Why delve into such impossibilities, with its hint of possibility? Why implant falsehoods in our heads, when our paranoia can get the better of us. But the worst part of this fiend, is that it lives inside us. We play with our minds and distort our thoughts. That is the scariest part.

#34

It pounds and pounds and pounds. It throbs and throbs and throbs. This hazy train of thought deeply embedded in his head. At the worst time, the worst counterfactuals come to mind and warp his thoughts. The cartesian method used for weeks on end, he wants to escape it, and fall into concrete.

#33

Why why this self inflicted hysteria, this self inflicted dark mental hole carved out in the mind. Being so immersed within it, plunging deeper and deeper to where light can barely come through. No, this is ridiculous, it's infantile, childish and irrational. Why revel in such idiotic things, such primitive things such as these. Trying to be a bastion for rationality, a priori, when the sense experiences say otherwise. Separate yourself from primal urges, just... stopping.

#32

And again and once again. He reads the words, the phrases, the body language, the tone, yet he is wrong, so very wrong. Such thoughts, these chemicals in the brain deceive him ,deceive him so much. This usually comes beforehand, but it comes to the surface now, only now at such a pivotal time.

He has doubt. Only doubt within his mind.